Fifty Six

I question myself because
I question myself, because
I have doubts, because
Why else am I here, why do I

Feel uneasy; not yet welcome
In myself, not in my body, not
In my mind, not yet introduced
To my own new found freedoms

So, still it seems, I remain trapped
Why choose this place, of intense
Personal exhaustion, to follow
A path penetrated by my own

Illness, my own weakness
My own unachievable desires
My own, distinctly-indistinct deceptions
Where else could I be at this precious time

In my life, where to see the logic, the line
Where to find the sea, as I wonder how to be
Here now to find the love, to find a lover’s sign
Here to prosper, just beyond the base design

Available at Amazon

Fifty Five

I am that young soul
Among the old soul
I am that full life
Among the half-life

I am that lover
Among the good love
I am here to rediscover
Among the undercover

I am that leaf in the fall
That leaf of a still silent call
I am that there thief in this here way
That thief for whom silence comes to pray

I am that white cloud
In the mostly blue sky shroud
I am that freedom found
That freedom to walk on solid ground

I am that paddler in the stream
The paddler with the lucid dream
I am that escapist from the seam
Escaping to where or when I seem

I am that certainty of moments
Certain in almost all of the moments
I am that old man growing older
I am that bright light, the one-time foot soldier

Available at Amazon

Fifty Four

This room is not so sad
As that of the previous verses
The light here is clearer
The time here holds more truth than love

What I seek is of creation
Yet not yet turned to words
What I seek out is regeneration
Yet not from the stasis of the broken man

That I am here now does say
That the moon, the stars, the sun
The love, the lust; they have all conspired
To play their part in my growth

These grounds, these buildings
Now carry way less melancholy
They offer hope, they exude a brightness
A sure sign that the love of life belongs here

What I sought here before
May have been based on recrimination
Of myself, for at least from one other
I thought I deserved a detailed explanation

That I was here, does show
That I was in need of help
The generous words, the actions, the people
They all played their incredibly supportive part

Available at Amazon

Fifty Three

Is this the place
You made your own
Is this the only option
That you were offered

Are your words worth more
Or are they more needy
Do you require silk or velvet
To remember more cushioned times

For mostly what we read from you
Are of good times, better times
Sensual times, sexual times
Music in the musk of love times

We neither ask, nor seek apology
For we too are fond of skin on skin
Of bare, sun-tanned bellies
Of thighs wantonly straddling thighs

Why would you not recreate such worlds
If that were in any way possible
Or, as is surely more likely in your case
The only pathway that one is able to follow

Yet one ought to be aware, to be beware
That in the giddiness, in the richness, of this
Famously, fabulously, hot summer, the inviting
Open breasted blouse comes at quite a price

Available at Amazon

Fifty Two

It wouldn’t do
To rewrite here the shorter poems
They will have a separate volume

Presently I sit on a chair
Sculpted
From a single piece of wood

Such satisfaction for the carver
The shaper, the sander
The smoother

Yet now, out in the long summer of sun
The wood is dry
Cracks are widening

Yes, there is a scent
Of eucalyptus, though
I fear the timber needs more than a whiff

I myself bask in the sunlight
Listen to the laughter
In the nearby tearoom

Where once, so I fancifully presume
The artisan craftsman
Took his well-deserved breaks

Available at Amazon