How?

I have a story that I wish to write

But, I don’t know

If I know how to write it

No, I don’t know

Where my vulnerabilities might take me

Sat Outside

Warm days

Fine grasses

Red-brick houses

Slate roofs

Butterfly

Flying

The length

Of the garden

Friday Through Saturday

In this early morning light

After sharing pleasures of the night

To sojourn with second sight

It seems more than could be my right

Rose petals, falling by the fence

Young love, was there any sense

With passions rising to intense

Was there ever any sitting on the fence

Newark to Kings Cross

All that talk

Of the world coming to an end

Without a speck of common sense

About what we’ve achieved so far

And how much further we can go

To help my cause

Also to shed, or show some optimism

I turn to onbeing.org with Krista Tippett

In conversation with Robert McFarlane

Which I find to be most uplifting

Outside The Hairdressers

A slit, horizontal

Of blue, blue sky

Above the rooftops

Below the passageway ceiling

That view, restricted

Of emptiness, openness

Above this idea of future

Below that idea of past

My steadiness deserts me

I wobble like the smog

His holiness is thus set to be

I turn, as if a damaged knuckle

Benjamin’s Poem

My socks

Have dinosaurs

Blue and pink

What do my parents

Think about

My shorts

Are checked

Orange and green and blue

What do my parents

Want me to do

My tee-shirt

Is plain

And blue, again

What do my parents

Want from this game

Thomas’ Poem

My socks

Are red and blue

They remind me of you

My shorts

Are navy blue

Their battles

Remind me of you

My tee-shirt

Is hooped

White, Breton blue, and green

Their bicycles, their onions

They remind me of you

 

Our Words

Without you here

The silence engages

The ether enriches

It is in the not knowing

That we find our knowing

My Words

I make a sandwich

And think of you

I write a poem

And think of you

I say to myself

This is all getting a little bit

Too much like

Liza Minelli and the Pet Shop Boys

Other’s Words

A year of

Mental health came in

Easing out

With

Expectants leaving

What we expected

Was an exciting weekend

Quick fired words

In a tongue we had ———

A turbulent sea

Our friends no show

Not Yet Qualified

Regular practice

That’s what they said

Always, all of them

And to let go

Don’t hold on

That’s their message

But, as if to be expected

I rallied against them

Followed my own path

And look where it’s got me

At peace, at one

With salt thrown over my shoulder

Fragments 2

If I could just

Carmel by the sea

Austen by the sea

Astral projection

Always by the sea

Sit in

Fragments 1

Here or there

Somewhere

No you

I

You saw me

I—— —

Here in the village

So far away from England

A wood burning stove

Picking wild flowers

Spruce up the shrine

Biscuits so sweet

They

Aftermath

A low bed

In the Japanese style

In Wolverhampton of all places

Where their municipal gallery

Boasts a full size portrait

Of its regions most famous poet

Whose name I don’t remember

But google may tell you

I think it is by one William Strang

I saw it

On the very day

That I had my photograph taken

For my driving licence

I had a long beard

In the Russian Orthodox style

In Wolverhampton of all places

Where my work drew me

As just someone other

With little chance of fame

And an elsewhere that I forget

Roundup

A real breakthrough day

Open hands

Everything changes

Pages and pages of insights

Nine words around sea-grass

Transformative workshop

Such a lovely day

Conflicting feelings

Usually controlled, output orientated

Heart wood

Mind maps

Using today’s words

Start of a new journey

Love life with a sense of intention

Botanical dictionary page

Lots of resonances

Perfection has been a problem

Random words on page

Last line words

Joyful - Presence

Take a step

Even a small step

Take a word

Even a small word

Step

From one small word

Onto

A slightly longer word

Take a giant’s step of a word

From this one word

Go beyond all thought

Beyond all known reason

4 Object: D

B Hag stone - connected with words, writing flowing

H Tree outside window

Three different voices

J Swallow brooch - good to do that

Different viewpoints affect it

Process is the most important thing

4 Object: C

I do remember a video, which I made using Paper, it was to show flowers growing. I suppose it was my lack of belief in my artistic talent that led me to discard it; but today might be the start of a new stretch of sketching, and so maybe the writing exercise is helping me to move away from writing, which is of itself noteworthy.

It is tactile, I am sure that would have been part of the brief. But what of its connectivity, and resolution; I remember that being a bit of a problem, is there a mark II, but will that mean a new iPad, and how much would I use the new pair of devices, don’t I already have enough technology in my life. Will it make me a better, or a nicer person. Should I not resolve some other issues first!

4 Object: B

Why is it on your desk, when was it last used, no, of course you cannot remember.

It was a phase thing, you enjoyed it for a while, it surprised you, it delighted you, it freed up your creativity.

Now go and open the box.

A FULLY DESIGNED PACKAGE,

THOUGHTFULLY EXPLORED

It is an electronic pencil, designed to work with an iPad; I find that the battery can be charged by a USB connection which obviously shows that I did not use it very often.

Probably it was when I bought my iPad mini several years ago. I do remember a video.

 

4 Object: A

53 - Pencil

Pencil made for Paper

Cylinder, anything, or nothing more than packaging; happy to twist the two parts, now imagine a Russian Doll, yes, for sure, you know there is something inside, and you do know what it is; but don’t reveal that yet, instead ask yourself did the designers have a tubular pencil case in mind when they came up with the package, also perhaps to have the woodworkers pencil in mind for what you know to be the contents.

Disability

J Different aspect

Difficult choices for exercise

Understand the value of things that bring joy

Black Dog

Unable to handle

Distrust

Pointless to say anything

Blob

Excruciating

Impossible

Retreat into self

Talk to someone

Unexpected

Joy to sorrow

Return to writing / escape

Liability

Consequence

Win/Lose/Truce

Values

Integrity

Sadness

Repetition

Same old story

Keep hidden

Uncomfortable

Noisy

Intrusive

Problem

The Three Brains

Head, heart, gut

Listen, write, what shall I do now?

Angst

Intrusion

Noise

Uninvited

Awkward

Disproportionate

Unearned

Fraught

Displeasure

Annoyance

Disruptive

Problem Discredited

Relationship Guilt

Family Shame

Outsider Inability

Painful Stubborn

Indulgence Unforgiving

Wasteful Sick, sad

Before Lunch

S NHS Pressure

Ju Mother’s death,  talking to her, thing to move, adjust; sometimes it’s not enough

Jo Lost her auntie recently, she had recommended this day, very cathartic

L Difficult, aware of trying, home insurance, Airbnb

Meditative Listening

Am I willing to let what it is which wants to come to me.

Listen

Listen and write

Swirling passion

Heavy eyelids

Resonant sound

Itch on nose

Breath over lips itches

Awkward shuffling

Emerson College

Sky of stars (dark blue)

Wind brings creaking

Pond in garden burbles

Spacious awareness

Are you having a shower?

 

Deep Relaxation

Fifteen minutes body scan meditation

From head to toe

Slow

How many muscles did Thich Nhat Hahn say that we have in our face? And how many of those are exercised when we smile.

Slow

Through the heart chakra, where Adam, from Mindspace, takes us to for the blue sky mind of emptiness.

Slow

Connecting with, and collecting, the black blob of pain which the lady from Buddhist class showed how to flush aware.

Slow

Yes, it was a miracle, years of back pain relieved by a student-teacher whose penchant was for chocolate, of any kind.

Slow

From toe to head

Remember to be equanimous, shake hands with the impermanence of pain; focus intently, feel the dissolution.

Slow

Now you are home

Nine Words Playing - C

S Very charming

A Words the mean a lot

Having faith that all will be I

B Enjoyed, brought up emotions

Unlocked words

Will use the process again

J Thoroughly enjoyed, dense then more dense

Tension

L Favourite exercise

Will use it to work things out

T Typical anxious self

Nine Words Playing - B

1 Forgiveness traps obsession

Non-cognitive monster

Always thoughts

Ether; vocabulary

2 Non-cognitive thoughts

Nine Words Playing - A

Forgiveness 1

Thoughts 7

Traps 2

Monster         5

Obsession 3

Vocabulary 9

Always 6

Ether 4