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Wednesday, 18 July 2018

Now, In Now Time

The book of dreams laid on the bed
In front of the sea-view window
The bed had a plain, pale blue cover
The outlook was of a calm, pale blue sea

It could have been by Edward Hopper
But it was by Jim Holland
It could have been by Vilhelm Hammershoi
But it was by Jim Holland

I might have seen it on another day
But I saw it on a Sunday morning
I might have laid there some other time
But I lay there, on a Sunday morning

Afterwards, I took a flight back to England
I left Rod McKuen’s poems behind with you
Alone; they were of love, lost love, and loss
But belonged to an altogether future time


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Tuesday, 17 July 2018

Place Of Solitary Occupation

Ninety minutes of playtime
Thankful
That no writers turned up
No one here
To distract me
Other than myself

And o boy what a distraction
Thousands of memories
Zillions of thoughts
A few spontaneous movements
Before I brought out the camera
And the iPhone video recorder


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Monday, 16 July 2018

In Place Of Occupation

One more cup of coffee
One more to bring intensity to thought
To strengthen, to enrich, to magnify
To beautify, to endorse, to probe

One more shout out to the future
One more to bring indemnity to the scope
To elongate, to extrapolate, to mimic
To lose the cynic, to endorse, to probe

I photograph the stillness of the room
I record the calmness of the room

One more moment of now thus captured
One more time of being here in the present
To witness, to experience, to elucidate
To realise, to endorse, to probe

One more cup of coffee
One more final piece of action
To highlight, to dim, to radiate
To be within, to endorse, to probe


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Sunday, 15 July 2018

Occupational Health

If I was a stamp collector
I would find one for this morning
All blue skies and frosted grass
All peace and tranquillity
All mindful time for the writing

If I was a sculptor
I would take out the plaster of Paris
All brilliant white and tactile
All solid mass and inner soul
All mindful time, for chiselling and filing

A stamp collector, a sculptor?
No, I am not any of these
Though of course I dabbled
What with friends at play, and on schooldays
Isn’t it just what we did


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Saturday, 14 July 2018

The Choice

Books change peoples destinies
What did I see
What did I notice
What did I feel
What did I say or do
What didn’t I say or do

Those five small prints by Joe Tilson
What did he see
What did he notice
What did he feel
What did he say or do
What didn’t he say or do

Those ten small shelves of books
Might I choose one at random
That you might retire to a quiet place
There to read it
How does Hesse’s Siddhartha sound
Yes, let’s go with that; or no, maybe not


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Friday, 13 July 2018

The Paper House

Within a month of your gift we had parted

Thirteen years on
Can I measure the loss
Can I measure the grief
Can I explain away the obsession

The feet and the inches of loss
Never again to be close enough to touch
The kilometres and the miles of loss
Never again to bridge the inevitable distance

The pounds and the ounces of grief
Always to be in fear of the tears
The kilograms and the tonnes of grief
Never again to weigh in with a lover’s words

The one thing on top of another of obsession
Maybe, yes always, one last sprig of hope
The last time before the next time of obsession
With otherness, yes, worthy to carry the doubt


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Thursday, 12 July 2018

Discuss; If You Must

How does one make sense
Of a watercolour painting
Or a contemplative pastel sketch

I look across the room
At my own work
From thirty years ago

I could say to you
That there is lightness
That there is love

Yet, if I move in closer
I would talk of frustration
I would talk of dismay

But, and I smile as I write this
I must speak today of satisfaction
I should talk well, of my minor achievements


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Wednesday, 11 July 2018

Questions Of Ownership

Who but I
Yes, a good question
Or who but you
Yes, equally so

To sidestep
To foxtrot
To line dance
To hide away

Who but I
And where but here
O yes
Keep those questions coming

To intensify
To mystify
To be courageous
In the absence of love


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Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Denial Of Ownership

Is there always impatience lurking
Always another occupation to go to
Is their always a form of recrimination
Always some other blame to lay


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Monday, 9 July 2018

Self Ownership

This is what I hoped for
This is what I wished for
Outside of meditation
This is what I craved for
Or at least one of the things

I hoped this room would bring peace
I wished this room would bring joy
Outside of meditation
I craved for this room in which to crave
To be at least one, of those many things

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Sunday, 8 July 2018

Shared Ownership

If you came here
Or if someone else came here
To this room I have created
Would you, or they, look at the photographs
Would you, or they, read the books
Would you, or they, listen to the music
Would you, or they, sit around this table

If I offered you coffee
Or if I offered someone else coffee
In this room I have created
Would you, or they, make polite conversation
Would you, or they, shed their light, lightly
Would you, or they, smile, smile infectiously
Would you, or they, talk of our love, lovingly


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Saturday, 7 July 2018

Ownership

I ought to be honest
Own up
To what I know about beauty

I ought to be clear
Own up, to myself
About where I discovered beauty

I ought to be sure
Find a certainty
Of feelings and time

I ought to be confident
Find a realisation
Of moments in time



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Friday, 6 July 2018

Be II

Alone, yet not alone
For feelings flood in
The body sizzles
The mind whistles on by

Alone, how good does it feel
The sizzling, the whistling
The whole of the ether
Turned out on its head


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Thursday, 5 July 2018

Be I

I look into the old man's eyes
Will I become him
Will he become me
Will I reach the point of the point of wisdom

In the morning light
With the suns rays
Entering through the window
Will I one day be free to contemplate


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Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Recovery Methodologies

In place of tears
Why not become the joker
In place of endless fears
Why not welcome in the passing clown

In place of freedom
Why not become the trapped
In place of lost kingdoms
Why not cast off the downbeat frown

In place of hope
Why not become with despair
In place of how to cope
Why not simply, surely, stand them down

In place of failure
Why not become belligerent
In place of derailed allure
Why not pose, as the talk of the town


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Tuesday, 3 July 2018

One Life; Of All Of Those You Stole

O Penistone, o Penistone
You crushed me
And I never ever loved you
O grammar school, o grammar school
You broke me
And I never ever saw you coming

Your black and red striped tie
Your grey and black peaked cap
Your blazer and long grey trousers
Your uniform approach to individual life
No you did not seek out to encourage me
You didn’t even let me wear
My ice-blue jeans, and brothel creepers

O Penistone, o Penistone
You lost me
And I never ever loved you
O grammar school, o grammar school
You taunted me
And I never ever found you

Your parquet floor French classroom
Your physics lab with Bunsen burner
Your geography lessons all about the Tundra
Your buildings served as licence to demolish
You never did curtail that deputy headmaster
The bully, the evil one, the wretched bastard
He caned me, he slippered me, he lost me


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Monday, 2 July 2018

I Lost The Way

All those times
I criticised the intellectuals
Yet continued to buy their books
And quoted from them incessantly

You see the real deal is
That I don’t cut it
As an intellectual
Nor as a renaissance man

And I could blame it all
On late childhood bedwetting
Or extended puberty
Or difficulty losing my virginity

But the truth of it is I know
That one year did it for me
Yes, that one year
And then one other


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Sunday, 1 July 2018

A Gradual Movement

A new video*, not yet started
A germ of an idea
From our Bude vacation

We already have the photographs
A few poems
And maybe other writings

Kate has agreed to narrate
Aiming this time
For clarity to lead the dream

The process began
With thoughts of going to Finland
A slow film through the snow

To a cottage on its own island
Three hours drive
From Helsinki Airport

Of course that might still happen
But for now something more immediate
Without the need to trouble Sibelius


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Watch the video on youtube by clicking here