First you have to have been married and divorced twice, or at least to have fallen out (big time) from a serious long term relationship
Next you have to have retained (or found) your sense of humour, your love of life and your desire to have another crack at it
Then you must collect together all your self help books, especially those on personal psychology and any that use the word 'journey' - but keep the ones on sacrificial bonfires, they will come in very useful later
Now take a trip to IKEA, look carefully, and closely, at the machine made imitation wooden bookshelves; look again at the recycled cardboard organisation boxes, and then say to yourself (and to the whole store if you feel so inclined) "No I don't want any more of this stuff, no, no thank you!"