Daylight Lamps

I am where I am
Do not let me become disheartened              
Let me write
Let me paint
Let me love
Let me work
Let me be outgoing and creative, let it be me

There is a brightness, the same brightness
Of the streetlight when, as a thirteen year old boy
I was torn from my playgrounds
I was unconditionally stripped of my boyhood friendships

I am where I am
Do not let me become unduly despondent
Let me play
Let me dance
Let me drink
Let me find romance
Let me take the steps to find the rare and fairly be, let it be me

There are sounds, the same sounds as from
The youth club juke box
I was a clumsy yet enthusiastic teenager
I never quite made it with the girls
I never quite made the football first eleven

I am where I am
Do not let the weight become a burden
Let me procreate
Let me fornicate
Let me hesitate
Let me stay up late
Let me weigh up how to strive to be, let it be me

There are duties, responsibilities; the same
Organisational representations that I fought
For and against as suited my fast emerging
Slick suited, neatly booted, superficial persona

I am where I am
Do not let me dine on introspection
Let me read
Let me breathe
Let me be boisterous with pretension
Let me seek
Let me reek in the abstinence of joy, let it be me

There are doubts, there are blood rushes of emotion
Passions that charged at me
As sure as did Van der Graff's electrostatic, silver balled generator
There was just a chance that I could make her

I am where I am
Do not let me prize on those past reflections
Let me ache
Let me recreate

Let me take away all leave of my senses
Let me so relate
Let the mistakes be raked over or burnt intestate, let it be me

There are voids, gaps in hopes and understandings
There is no we, as a we anymore
There is silence and there is darkness
The uneven load is a load too much to bear
There is no choice & no forgiveness.

I am where I am
Do not let me be only pre-existent
Let me study
Let me talk
Let me roam
Let me grieve
Let me browse
Let me leave
Let me go off to find and make new friendships
Let me love to be the man who loves again, let it be me

There is care, tenderness, love, vulnerability, colour, energy
Intellect and a warmth of welcome, a desire to please
The usual problems
We each have baggage, stuff that requires deft negotiation.

I am where I am
Do not let me conjure up conundrums
Let me be simple
Let me be plain
Let me be outrageous
Let me be as it is to be, let it be me
Let me be thankful for the days ahead
Let me share more than I ever cared to before






a poem from In & Out of Dream Space Love Embellished by Visitations click anywhere on the text for details