Retail therapy doesn't do it for me today
I find a flaw in the construction of the oak bureau
And so it is moved, from the must have, to the might have
But only if it's a bargain
And at close on seven hundred it isn't
Unlike last seasons Christmas lights, which it seems
Must have been substantially overstocked
They are discounted, significantly, extremely
Although in February, even though it is my birthday
I have little need for shimmering imitation chandeliers
I did see tables for the stables, but, yes I know another but
But I am quite unable to act unilaterally in this regard
And so I move on to the coffee shop, which nowadays
Unlike the days of my youth, is filled with young mothers
And all manner of pushchairs, and contemporary carrying contraptions
It is, I have to say, almost the equivalent of those food pubs
Who have two for one pensioner days, just to prove
Or so I think, that pensions are keeping pace with inflation
Starbucks was no place for a struggling writer
Not that I am a writer, but if I was it would be a struggle
Not a penny, actually just one penny change from five pounds
For a small Americano and an even smaller bar of granola, yes
I know that granola is a diet sin, and that I have to pay for my sins
But to pay through the nose, that smells more than a bit shifty
I drove back through Eastwood
Not specifically to see the schoolgirls smoking
Or to be surprised, by the young boys in anoraks
Entering the valentines card shop
It was the satellite navigation that redirected me
Apparently there was an accident on the direct route
I saw a white van, stopped by the police for speeding
Or maybe for something more sinister; I carried on by
