Found, yet lost
Doing what has to be done
All the while
Contemplating the escape
Borrowed spaces
Transitory objects for ritual
Some touch
Of someone to hold on to
Listen
The deeper waves call
Open up
The routes for change
Walk Jon’s walk
Step
By indeterminate steps
Being also, unassuming
I have tried meditation, although I would not claim to be proficient. I started in a small space, upstairs in a one bedroom, rented cottage, early in the morning, before work.
Do you know that’s not quite true
I now remember something about The Natural Law Party, and the benefits of Transcendental Meditation. I do believe I signed up.
I certainly bought Holosync CD’s from Centrepointe Research USA, and joined evenings led by Buddhists.
Since that time I have bought many books about Mindfulness; or the Zen of quiet journeys.
My favourite teacher presently is Jon Kabat-Zinn; I have found his approach to be both elegant and straight forwards, he is welcome and inspiring; yet I continue to relapse, same as it ever was.
Being there, looking even
Although mostly, not paying attention
Yet wanting to be immersed
As if one could be, of something
Half within, the rest without
A group of moments
Carriages on the railway
As if one could be, entirely
Never then the objection
In seeking universal acceptance
In this, so approachable, likeable
As if one could be, found by
As a younger man I did not go to Oxford, or Cambridge; perhaps someone expected that I would have, or could have, but it was not me; also I think. Most unlikely was it my parents either.
For I was innocently and overwhelmingly happy at Birdsedge County Primary School yet I was incredibly sad, disturbed even, or worse still perhaps at Penistone Grammar School.
Why do I mention Oxford? Well you see I am reading a book Sea Room - An Island Life
I am impressed by the writing; it is of the sort I think I might have learnt, had I gone to Oxford.
I did though go, with my last lover, to the Outer Hebrides, in September 2011. I felt great empathy with the writer Adam Nicholson who was given the Shiant Islands.
Although he was gifted them by his father - an Oxford Man.
Silk or aluminium, the
Minimum thrust; lust
Across silver skies
Trust those who do, just
As to leave the rest
At home, all alone
With their doubts
And limited destinations
The station points
Changed, I rearranged
The circumstances; took
Chances galore
More I shouted; always
To up the ante, whilst not
Ever, fully knowing the score
