To say
That I am attracted
Yet
In truth
Your infinite magnetism
Wrenches
At my
Molten core
I write
To say
That I am swayed
Yet
In truth
Your uninhabited distraction
Calls me
To the Mount
Of Evermore
I am drunk
Although
Not by alcohol
I am drugged
Although
Not by illicit narcotics
I am crazy
Although
Not by illness fever
I move towards that place
Where no-one
Will love me
Bounded
By doubt, that
Someone else is rocking
Lost
In head
& heart & soul
I fear
Irresponsibility
Locking itself down within me
All that I have been
I am
Again becoming
All that I have seen
Hey, listen to the
Spanish guitars strumming
The warmth
The light
The incidence of fright
In the sweated nights
Of imaginary
Loving
It is as if
With a thousand lashes
I desire to go self beating
It is as if
All my previous shallowness
Is seeking a way out
My shallowness
My years of self deceiving
Are pleading for a way out
I won’t keep you at bay
As, I thought, you
Kept me at bay
Over all those mountains
Of forgiveness
I will forgive you
Yet it’s true
That I could not
Share you
& it’s true
That the truth
Will still be true
I dare not think
Of a time together
Never in my mind
Have I had
So many things
To try undo
Wherever then
You seek total commitment
I will be on the sidelines
Some intermittent thankful recipient
Of the incremental rites
Inside the human zoo
Such small crumbs
Are all I need
To continue my journey
Small crumbs
To encourage me
To be on my way
This is a poem from Vagaries:
Love of The Key to Room 149