37

To do no more than sit and write
Let my mind fight whatever it feels it needs to fight
Always knowing; not what's right
But that nothing need be kept from clear sight
That whenever I wish to shine the light
The tightness will try to keep it tight
As night-time falls into blue-black night
That bright day no longer bright
With such decay that I just might
Distill the darkness with sheer insight
Show my mettle, fight my fight
As with my mother I'll fly my kite
Share our love, forego our plight

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36

I drive into the mist
The trees, bare of leaf, float trunkless
Lyle Lovett's music bares my lustful mind
I have, I feel, the touch of thigh on thigh
All of that time of life saddled in one momentous rush
That I shouldn't have wanted to say anything more
All of the lusciousness already self-fulfilling the score
But believe me he says
Slowly opening the ever open door
Out there, laid out in the starlights of nature
The true lovers are sharing the floor
I have, I feel, the touch of skin on skin
All of that time, of the time of our life
Grappled in one momentous crush
Hands under warm armpits, hands over warm breasts
If ever you would wonder, you would wonder the rest
Clothes straddled the floor, beauty banging my chest
Lost lovers loving in the afternoon, whatever's next

I drive into the light
The sky, scared of clouds, floats weightless
Eva Cassidy's music scares me, for you
For you and your less than trustful kind

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35

Contemplation time

As time called by to ask me

Why not walk out

Why not watch the sunrise

Why not sit in the garden

The why not and the why

All a matter of calculation

All a matter of pounds shillings and pence

All a matter of listening to the music

Then to walk the street as Arturo Bandini

Shuffle feet in the dust

Ruffle feathers as you must

Muffled against the upper crust

Daring to be just as unjust

Darling, to be just as unjust 

He opened the door

Waved to his dear lady arriving

Together they popped the corks

Of quite ordinary champagne

Why not the way

As time called by

Along his contemplation line

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34

Who's stolen the melancholy, who's spilt the joi de vivre
Who's listening to Leadbelly, who's shaping up to leave

The seal of her lips is broken
Words not spoken for many years
Lay festooned in the vale of tears

Who's frozen the happy holly, who's undone the fabric weave
Who's christening the wobbly jelly, who's rolling up their sleeve

The smile in her eyes is awoken
A joyful token to turn back the fears
As once waylaid, by her thoughtless peers

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33

What I didn't make up I didn't make up, what brought the tears was that I didn't know how
What I hadn't said I hadn't said, what brought the arrears was that that I didn't know how
Into the light and into the shadow, both so strong you wouldn't know how
Into the air and into the meadow, both so desirous you wouldn't know how
If you could feel the stillness, say it, all without words, would that you, wouldn't you know how
If you could bask without ever feeling the needing, if you could but you, wouldn't you know how

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