all that talk
of where i failed
and still fail
all that smoke
and mirrors
to contradict the truth
pointing
in at least two directions
to deflect
so anointing
the one who was
appointed
with light
and ludicrous
paranoia
Most days I would try to write a poem; it is a practice, as I suppose is meditation, or smiling, or watching the world go by
all that talk
of where i failed
and still fail
all that smoke
and mirrors
to contradict the truth
pointing
in at least two directions
to deflect
so anointing
the one who was
appointed
with light
and ludicrous
paranoia
in st just
lost
looking for
the artist’s gallery
sat outside
the kings arms
with an old man
who made a living
with his art
sufficient
for food
on the table
and a roof
over their heads
thrown out
of his home
by his father
mother passing
his clothes out of the window
a traveller
throughout the kingdoms
he was a painter
in the realist
and impressionist styles
am i losing you
are we losing each other
is the distance between us
too far to bridge
i am fearful
of such a discovery
as I wander in the damp mist
of a Japanese garden
might you have forgotten
how much i need you
how uselessly alone
i will be on my own
it is true even if i say so
that i don’t deserve you
and that you may be happier
if you were without me
then i remember
the good times that we have
how on so so many occasions
we have helped each other smile
in search of silence
that is in departure
from society
where ones own self is the place
of curious calm
and wild wilful imagination
letting the past be the past
in glorious
flying fast formation
in search of love
that is the engagement
of the other
where both are at the grace
of togetherness
optimistic of advances
let the future be the future
in the beautiful
hands-held hesitations
i can’t say the words
tongue-tied by anxiety
what if the end is in sight
a new direction on the horizon
how to let oneself down
once again
how to think of starting over
and leaving the past behind
there does have to be a purpose
does there really
beyond being comfortable
and at peace