am i losing you
are we losing each other
is the distance between us
too far to bridge
i am fearful
of such a discovery
as I wander in the damp mist
of a Japanese garden
might you have forgotten
how much i need you
how uselessly alone
i will be on my own
it is true even if i say so
that i don’t deserve you
and that you may be happier
if you were without me
then i remember
the good times that we have
how on so so many occasions
we have helped each other smile
in search of silence
that is in departure
from society
where ones own self is the place
of curious calm
and wild wilful imagination
letting the past be the past
in glorious
flying fast formation
in search of love
that is the engagement
of the other
where both are at the grace
of togetherness
optimistic of advances
let the future be the future
in the beautiful
hands-held hesitations
i can’t say the words
tongue-tied by anxiety
what if the end is in sight
a new direction on the horizon
how to let oneself down
once again
how to think of starting over
and leaving the past behind
there does have to be a purpose
does there really
beyond being comfortable
and at peace
these are the quiet words
of a soul lost within itself
or a soul lost within another soul
and at that very moment
one blackbird stops splashing
and two blackbirds depart
a gentle breeze stills the leaves
motor cars noise slowly flattens
the bay bush sits still and calm
i am startled by the fall of water
overnight rain in the canopy
shocked I listen for a church bell
calling the worshipers to worship
or is it the sinners to sin
disenfranchised to disenfranchise
i am not for letting go, rather
i dwell with the soul lost
looking out on the natural world
it is time for a long poem
as the girl at the waters edge
dries her cotton frock
in the breeze
she walks with her friend
quite a hulk of a man
more so when he turns to jog
a fly settles on the inside
of my unnecessary sunglasses
as the boys return from surfing
next stop is the queue
for coffee and muffins
also to watch the small bird
picking up the crumbs
which is what we all do
day by day by day
this is the thoroughfare
for the fashion statement
also the sugar rush for the kids
to be nonchalant seems to be
the look of the moment
should I practice disinterest
no surely not not as the blue sky
appears on the horizon
and also inland
older son is on a prolonged break
to take in coffee and a cigarette
i have a white chocolate lemon muffin
which after all is how sugar coated
lives ought to be lived is it not
when there is a sharp line of horizon
the tide is going out
high tide being at nine am
this maybe accounts for the breeze
i have to move from the chair
onto the rocks as oldest son
needs to get out of his wetsuit
at that very moment
sunlight bursts through to cast a glow
onto family life same as it ever was
picture taking time
oneself, with surfboard
on his knees as he is writes
a replica
of the two-thousand and four version
with surf board and mars bar
