we awake to death
at the nerve ends
of our existence
those sharp tingling
pains of chronic waste
see there goes another one
and another behind the thigh
on the rim of the knee
somewhere between the shin bone
and the ball of the ankle
in this way we are reminded
of our body’s impermanence
for one half of the sensation
is a new life beginning
samsara
you invited me
and I was compliant
yet unable to begin
the deeper conversation
for it was
your line dance
your island
your cottage
your double bed
in two thousand and five
after a bit of a wobble I took a decision
to try not to forget
to keep you alive
through poetry and dreams
and meditation
in two thousand and twenty one
i asked our son if we could begin
a deeper conversation
yes a story he said
because he doesn’t do feelings
he suggested to base it on call of duty
my father, his grandfather had been
a paratrooper in the second world war
shot down
left hanging in a tree
until he was recovered
who knows where
my brother jack
puts me straight
about the facts
of my father’s injury and capture
he also gifts me the belief
that this should be his story
i am at base camp
and so are you
on the rim of the volcano
the very perimeter of vesuvius
step forwards
into the inner passions
step backwards
into the unnecessary chorus
wobble a little
eke out your expectations
look deep into the light
lift all of your limitations
the aeroplane is overhead
distance then is not too far
by the angels we will be led
to the light of the northern star
what would be the examples
of that which would make me kind
in the way in which joyful singers sing
how might i move to not be blind
