Where, why
Would I look for you
Why, where might
I search you out
How
On this night of meditation
Can I seek
To find the doubt
If I look into the books
If I read between the lines
All that love for the writer
Secretly to reveal the signs
That I can hear the seagulls
That I can see the cloud swirls
In the sky, in the sky, in the sky
It is me, I am me, all is fine
What I do is to go on looking
Every day, near or far
Listening out, for the whispers
With the doors so so slight ajar
I have booked the hotel
I am taking a two-day break
To prepare this work
For the Arvon poetry-collection course
I did have a doubt
I wondered if my Working Type
Could become a poem novel or a novel poem
I do care for how it reads
Yet without the Arvon motivation
How would 2004 survive
We didn’t survive
So why should a slim volume of poems
To talk of joy
As in that last piece
Seems pretty wide of the mark
Yet, here in the present
With a different room
For me to look forwards to
That always inviting space
Which is YSP
I can say
That these words bring me joy
They make me
Feel good about myself
I could say more
But that might
Give the game away
I don’t want to do that
I don’t want to reveal all
For these are personal words
Their disclosure
May cause embarrassment
Or pain
Almost for sure
There would be no joy now
Though absolutely no chance
Of these words being reflected
Not in the same solitary room context
As happened back in the day
Not always
The sunlight
Dancing on the waves
Not always
The butterfly
On the drift of the breeze
But today
Although not starting well
Is picking up
I have this place to sit
I have this window to look out of
I have this pen with which to write
Not always
The hurt
Dips into the void
Not always
The cruelty
Is left alone
I am losing you
I believe that is
More or less
What you would have wanted
Last week
I returned to Forest Row
There was little or no angst
Left to overturn
Instead
Five days of continuous sun
Meditations
With the Community of Interbeing
I heard
Other people’s stories
How lucky then
Have we been
One teacher
Told her story
Of losing
Her unborn child...
