74

Is it that I have become indecisive
When mostly the only decision which I choose
To make, is to write a few more words

On this next question I have truly stumbled
Should I retire, from the day job
To live the life of a writer

Let's be very clear then
I very much enjoy writing, to say immensely
Would not be stretching the point

Yet I have had nothing published
And neither have I courted publishers, or agents
Save for that background noise of self-publication

I have hardly ever performed my work
Other than with a few local writing groups
And for my own internet recordings

I do care for my poetry
Some of it has stood the test of time
But it has never really got off the ground

I could carry on as a part-time writer
I have done so for twelve years, or twenty-seven
What would another two mean; more of the same

Or I could jump, start some explorations
There would be risks, failures and successes
There would be change, I always wanted to change

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73

The last page was the halfway point
And now, apart from that last short ditty
We could almost say it is a new beginning

And how many more times have I begun again
How well the strain of originality is kept at bay, both
Along the illuminated way, and within the sunken shadows

The madness isn't though now present quite so often
Time, that great healer, softened many of the blows
Although, will it ever truly be over, will I ever know

If it is that the fields, and the trees
In the morning frost are feeling the chill
The sky, and the breeze thus redeeming me still

The thrill of the chase
And the basket case I became
No blame, no reframe, no endless shame

Always the same, or all ways to change
Simply to write; sit with words to rearrange
Place this before that, in a lover's lost exchange

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72

There is a lot of tosh
Though I liked it back then
There is a lot of rhyme
O golly, o gosh

I will doff my cap, no slack
As and when
The love of lust stands in line
The lust of love hands it back

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71

Calf leather boots
Across the Humber Bridge
Smoking sweet cheroots
Up on Bluestone Ridge

A coffee, and a chocolate bar
O Monday how you tempt my bid
Riding in this sedan car
As a writer, lifting off the lid

In middle, or late age England
A long way from Inter-Milan
In designer outlet gear they stand
Looking neat; I have it in the can

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70

Uncertain
As to where time alone might take me
I did not stay alone so very long

From behind the curtain
As if the love of my life forgave me
I show myself to stand square, and to be fairly strong

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