41

It isn't that I don't want to write
And it isn't that I don't have time to write
I have all the time in the world
Sat in this lay-by, watching the traffic stream by

I could always say that I had had a breakdown
Car breakdown that is, nothing too dramatic
Or I could say that there had been a bad accident
Not that I was involved, but the road was closed

It isn't that I mind telling fibs
And it isn't that I spend my whole life telling fibs
Yes I know I do have whole pockets of deceit
Sat here, under the blue sky, in the warm morning sun

Always a friend of the silver birch
And the maroon aubergine tint to the tops of the hedgerow
Always a friend to the silhouettes of the wizened old trees
Set off by the silver sky, sunlit from the heavens

Yesterday evening, after bathing whilst reading Fante
I thought about brinksmanship
He uses that trick time after time; this time you think
Make her, make her this time, but no, he doesn't make her

He backs off, and you back off with him
Leave me alone he cries, just back off won't you
And that's exactly what you choose to do
Time, after time, after time

You could tell them that you don't feel like it anymore
That you have done your stint
It's time for new blood
Time to let the youngsters have a go, have a right good go

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40

Light turns
My room becomes dark
The fire glows
I am bathed in music
And warmth

Dusk arrives
A little more slowly
As the years change over
I am easy with love
And care

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39

I am alone for a while
I smile into the log fire
Pleased, that folks somewhere
Care for the photos I have posted
If I could play the piano
I would play Ben Fold's The Luckiest
Not that I could sing along
For singing is not my strong suit either
I am not alone anymore
Joined by someone moving boxes
Beginning the tidying, on a Sunday
For visitors arriving, on Thursday

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38

He, the she part of him
Held the strawberries
In the palm of his hand

She, the he part of her
Washed blueberries
In the sparkling stream

He and she
The she and the he part of them
Knelt on the spring grass

She and he
The he and the she part of them
Stepped on stepping stones

In the palm of their hands
In the sparkling stream
Eating blueberries and strawberries

They stepped on stepping stones
Knelt on meadow grass
Eating strawberries, and blueberries

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37

To do no more than sit and write
Let my mind fight whatever it feels it needs to fight
Always knowing; not what's right
But that nothing need be kept from clear sight
That whenever I wish to shine the light
The tightness will try to keep it tight
As night-time falls into blue-black night
That bright day no longer bright
With such decay that I just might
Distill the darkness with sheer insight
Show my mettle, fight my fight
As with my mother I'll fly my kite
Share our love, forego our plight

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