35

Contemplation time

As time called by to ask me

Why not walk out

Why not watch the sunrise

Why not sit in the garden

The why not and the why

All a matter of calculation

All a matter of pounds shillings and pence

All a matter of listening to the music

Then to walk the street as Arturo Bandini

Shuffle feet in the dust

Ruffle feathers as you must

Muffled against the upper crust

Daring to be just as unjust

He opened the door

Waved to his dear lady arriving

Together they popped the corks

Of quite ordinary champagne

Why not the way

As time called by

Along contemplation line

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34

Who's stole the melancholy, who's spilt the joi de vivre

Who's listening to Leadbelly, who's shaping up to leave

The seal of her lips is broken

Words not spoken for many years

Lay festooned in the vale of tears

Who's frozen the happy holly, who's undone the fabric weave

Who's christening the wobbly jelly, who's rolling up their sleeve

The smile in her eyes is woken

Joyful token to return the fears

As waylaid by thoughtless peers

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33

What I didn't make up I didn't make up, what brought the tears was that I didn't know how

What I hadn't said I hadn't said, what brought the arrears was that that I didn't know how

Into the light and into the shadow, both so strong you wouldn't know how

Into the air and into the meadow, both so desirous you wouldn't know how

If you could feel the stillness, say it, all without words, would that you, wouldn't know how

If you could bask without ever feeling the needing, if you could but you, wouldn't know how

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32

I wake, from the sight and sound of stripping wallpaper, I know where the bedroom is but I won't bore you with the detail, suffice to say that in my half-sense stupor I feel to be in that place as I get out of bed.

I recognise that I am doing something which makes the maximum impact for the minimum effort, my heart isn't in the task and I leave it, as most things, half-completed.

available on kindle

31

I have given something up, or rather had it taken from me

I haven't found a replacement and know not what I am looking for

My own gentleness is fading amongst all the gentleness that surrounds me

Belligerent and bombastic are two words to describe my current way of going on

It's not what anyone wants, not that I know what anyone wants

Other than I have the idea of a straight line, a clear sky

A dream of a quieter place with time for deeper reflection

Somewhere to be myself, to find something there to be true

available on kindle