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Tuesday, 27 January 2015

The long and the short of a part of my life Volume 1 Page 15

Time lost, time wasted
Time to dream
Time I could have tasted

Bare feet up on the dashboard
Clear blue sky overhead
All sunglasses and turned up stereos

Stop, go, stop, step out

Shorts
Mobile phone 
Insurance details
For the side-stream
Supplementary shunt

Shadows under the parapet
Loud roar of traffic
Muffled whirl of helicopter blades
Lorries pulled onto the hard shoulder

Go, stop, go

Are we really going
No, no not yet
No - I really don't think so

Drive by the same old faces
Find a place, take a chance
Finger dance
To Rod Stewarts Downtown Train

Fishermans' hat
They left the cat at home
Someone has to draw the dole
To pay for this short break they've stole
At the early onset of the summer

Tears
Tears that talk
Of broken
& somehow apart



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Monday, 26 January 2015

The long and the short of a part of my life Volume 1 Page 14

Down to the azure sea

But this is England
Where I travel from the North, my homeland
To the South, for most certain the land of others

Traffic slows
Accident signs flash
Last week
About to be replicated
How soon before
Frustration sets in

Wasted time
Wasted life
Wasted in dreams
Wasted while awake

In front 
O'Neil Transport of Ireland
All green and shamrock

To the side 
Arwel Thomas' Heavy Haulage
Heading for the bridge back to Wales

Steaming past, quite slowly actually
A young couple in their Hyundai Sport Coupe
With twin chrome exhausts surely entwined

A green triangle
Backdrop for a lighter green circle
Both cut through with wavy lines

A logo of sorts
For QDS
Deliverers of land regeneration

Stop, go, stop
I joined the queue at 9:45
Already it is 10:30


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Sunday, 25 January 2015

The long and the short of a part of my life Volume 1 Page 13

This had been Jimmy's lifestyle ever since escaping from therapy. Therapy that relentlessly told him that he had to learn how to be quiet, he had to learn to care, he had to learn that others needed his mothers love, and that she needed to give love to others. 

In therapy Jimmy was relentlessly told that he was not alone, but that had to learn to be alone. Jimmy had to learn that when his mother closed her bedroom door, with her lover in tow, that she was not forgetting him, not leaving him; except for those few frantic magical moments when she too would be lost to the world. 

Jimmy
Named by chance
O how we danced
Yes how did I dance
Boy did chance take me
Pride and circumstance
Came to that dance
The chance of time
Rhymed to shape me
A singer
A poet
A musician
A lover
A sage
All tied up with the rage
The rage
And the repetition
Of the mindful metaphysician
Trapped in his bar-less cage

Morning, morning light
I drive as if on vacation, light-headed
Attractive blonde turns her hand 
From the opulence of her leather clad metallic Jaguar convertible
She smiles, mischievous
Gestures for me
To enter onto her pubic highway
Wagner, played loud
This could be Mulholland Drive
From the blue mountains 



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Saturday, 24 January 2015

The long and the short of a part of my life Volume 1 Page 12

shoulder fixed before. Jimmy asked that Harry go see his doctor in the morning, insisting that he report back to the rest of the band by tomorrow evening; but for now he would have to sit out this rehearsal. 

In the studio Jimmy told Harry to listen closely to the lyrics, to concentrate on the words and not the music, pressed him to seek out the possible sources for the songs story, prized him to measure, to feel if the darkness was balanced by the light. 

Jimmy stood aloof at the microphone, began with a whisper, stepped slowly as if following a rivers swell, before becoming a raging torrent of repetition; repetition without rhyme or reason, but louder and louder, increasingly more tormented. 

Occasionally Jimmy would kick out; it appeared to come from a deep subconscious, or was a reflex that no one understood; the musicians played along, clattering cymbals, thrashing guitars; then a fall back, to the soft sublime steel slide mourning wail, a sound from the deep; a lost soul sound that echoed Jimmy's cry, as if a wolf cub parted from its mother. 

Jimmy's mother loved him but she could not forgive his love of so many others, she was the mother who named him Benjamin, for all the wrong reasons. 

Jimmy had been unable to explain his insatiable desire for love to his mother; so unable were they to talk that instead they fought; and when drink was present they fought with intolerant passion, their hatred, of the desirous love of the others lovers caused wild explosions. As animals they scratched and tore at each others skin, settled only by the drawn blood and the mutual humiliation. 

But Jimmy showed no remorse, to the point that he became a braggart about his beastly disregard for his mothers dignity. It seemed he wanted to strip her totally of her precious dignity, Jimmy wanted to see her bare and bleeding, he wanted his band to see her bare, bleeding and in tears; he wanted all the hangers on, all the down and out and dead beats to see his mother bare, bleeding and in tears; stripped entirely, uniquely stripped by Jimmy of her precious bloody dignity. 

Jimmy lived for music and drink and sex (he called it love). He live so that all his waking hours were entirely consumed by activity.


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Friday, 23 January 2015

The long and the short of a part of my life Volume 1 Page 11

You forget that you have been listening
As friends and silence drift and gently sway

Father and daughter laugh
This is easy conversation
The best of times
No more sitting on the fence

You forget that you have been listening
To tunes on the radio
Family preserved variations
Gulls back from the sea shore
Mottled cherry blossom 
Afloat on the breeze

That is all I could draw
Call it abstract if you will
But there is a go at tenderness
An attempt at insight
A feel for the message in a bottle
A search for a statement of intent

In between the French
And Spanish dictionaries
Serendipity plies her wares

Shadows of the sunset years
Angle-poise, poised upon the picture
Painted, painted just before the dawn

And that's where it stayed
Caught up in indifference
Trapped in some sensible profession
Shunted into the knackers yards
Left to become redundant, old iron
Until the sun rose on that cold day in December

Stillness, silence of the crystal, locked behind glass doors
Matched, as by the forces of equilibrium, by the matching cups and saucers
Jimmy yanked Harry's arm, you could hear the crack across the street
Passers by looked on with concern, had they never seen a dislocated 


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