I poured out my sadness
On your soft submissive sands
Sunrise and sunset
I sidestepped all along your shoreline
If then to know the sufferance
Of a deeper loss
As your choice of parting
Came again to haunt me
Wandering painful
On my own coasts and moors
Thoughts of gardens and butterflies
Bathed in the afternoon sun
Turn to night-time studies
Of my study
Covered in cobwebs and moths
Caught in this retrospective reflection
There are sections
On the psychology of love
Not I hope as deflection
But more for my own understanding
Of things over & above
The simple priorities
Of flesh and blood
Are we each and all
Drawn to more than one other
Does motherhood bring
It's own yearning
Is there learning to be had
By being more than simply a dad
Is the churning of our partners
A case of returning to the source
Of course always a time and place
A chase where the face fits
The mood and conversation race on
Into the night
No time to fight the temptation
The sensation of lust
Is enough to wade
Into the rough and tumble
The humble times of separation
As we waste away
In preparation
For the doubtful times ahead
As sure as the machine
That drives me through
There I left the security
That one gathers with two
Yet the impurities we carried
For then to eschew the weight
Of friends from in & out
The worldwide family zoo
They are where we are from
& where (mostly) we are going
Their traits are our traits
Their frailties are in
All our ways of showing
From our kingdom
From our inverted castle
We walked in dreams
You showed me
Your stillborns grave
In St Aubin's chapel
Let me in I pleaded
Let us, as we, begin
I persevered
Chased the glorious sin
You relented
But not without due
And fair and rich chagrin
I answered all I could
Didn’t know if you would
But should say I was let in
Back to the one room flat
With all that watching brief
Fights out from Herons Reach
Sat listening to the Cowboy Junkies
With pastel fills
Alongside oil paint stills
The lonesome nights became
More my mighty
Own-some rites
Set out tight
On to the enlightened
Flights of fancy
This is a poem from Filmic: Love of Our World of Purples & Blues
Available as ebook from Kindleor as a homemade print book with audio cd from poetryshop