37

To do no more than sit and write

Let my mind fight what it feels it needs to fight

Always knowing, not what's right

But that nothing need be kept from sight

That whenever I wish to shine the light

The tightness will try to keep it tight

As nighttime falls into blue-black night

That bright day no longer bright

With such decay that I just might

Distill the darkness with sheer insight

Show my mettle, fight my fight

As with my mother I'll fly my kite

Share our love, forego our plight

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36

I drive into the mist

The trees, bare of leaf, float trunkless

Lyle Lovett's music bares my lustful mind

I have, I feel, the touch of thigh on thigh

All of that time of life saddled in one momentous rush

That I shouldn't have wanted to say anything more

All of the lusciousness already self-fulfilling the score

But believe me he says, slowly opening the ever open door

Out there, laid out in nature, the true lovers are sharing the floor

I have, I feel, the touch of skin on skin

All of that time of life, grappled in one momentous crush

Hands under warm armpits, hands over warm breasts

If ever you would wonder you would wonder the rest

Clothes straddled on the floor, beauty banging my chest

Lost lovers loving in the afternoon, whatever's next

I drive into the light

The sky, scare of clouds, float weightless

Eva Cassidy's music scares you and your less trustful kind

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35

Contemplation time

As time called by to ask me

Why not walk out

Why not watch the sunrise

Why not sit in the garden

The why not and the why

All a matter of calculation

All a matter of pounds shillings and pence

All a matter of listening to the music

Then to walk the street as Arturo Bandini

Shuffle feet in the dust

Ruffle feathers as you must

Muffled against the upper crust

Daring to be just as unjust

He opened the door

Waved to his dear lady arriving

Together they popped the corks

Of quite ordinary champagne

Why not the way

As time called by

Along contemplation line

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34

Who's stole the melancholy, who's spilt the joi de vivre

Who's listening to Leadbelly, who's shaping up to leave

The seal of her lips is broken

Words not spoken for many years

Lay festooned in the vale of tears

Who's frozen the happy holly, who's undone the fabric weave

Who's christening the wobbly jelly, who's rolling up their sleeve

The smile in her eyes is woken

Joyful token to return the fears

As waylaid by thoughtless peers

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33

What I didn't make up I didn't make up, what brought the tears was that I didn't know how

What I hadn't said I hadn't said, what brought the arrears was that that I didn't know how

Into the light and into the shadow, both so strong you wouldn't know how

Into the air and into the meadow, both so desirous you wouldn't know how

If you could feel the stillness, say it, all without words, would that you, wouldn't know how

If you could bask without ever feeling the needing, if you could but you, wouldn't know how

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